Hi, my name is Phoenix Chanteur,
..and this is the story of my rebirthing process that inspired me to take on the spiritual name Phoenix.
Daily panic attacks, an incredibly negative view of everything in my inner and outer worlds, severe anger issues, and waves of physical pain in my throat whenever I would talk for more than twenty minutes at a time. These experiences became synonymous with existence during my college years. And it was an existence I gave serious contemplation to terminating as I didn’t see any end to my suffering in sight.
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My saving grace arrived when I started acting school, where I was introduced to Fitzmaurice Voicework.
Through this somatic practice, I was able to connect with my body and began to release trauma. Though I was still generally miserable and anxious, studying this voicework gave me hope that I could one day achieve a life worth living.
After graduating, I volunteered in a Yoga Ashram in the Bahamas for several months, where I learned about the power of yoga, chanting, meditation, and other holistic practices such as Reiki. It was an amazing community that helped me realize the importance of living a healthier lifestyle.
Through the support of those around me, I felt my body and mind becoming stronger and more resilient. But it wasn't until I went on a two-week Ayahuasca and San Pedro journey in Ecuador that I truly began to confront my past traumas. During the experience, I was able to recover memories from my childhood that I had completely blocked out. The trauma of being choked and raped by my friend's father when I was seven years old was finally brought to light, and I was able to process it in a way that I had never been able to before. These two weeks were incredibly challenging, but I left feeling much lighter than I had in years.
And it was during this time that I took on my spiritual name Phoenix at a rebirthing ceremony that just so happened to take place two days from my actual birthday!
Immediately after my Ayahuasca trip, I moved to a brand new city and was filled with a zest for life. I felt so joyous and inspired; it seemed like all of my dreams were attainable. It was certainly fun and emotionally healing, but it was not practical.
Having spent years seeped in my protective hyper-masculine shell, being reacquainted with my inner child and feminine energy during my post-Aya life became addictive. I didn’t want to step into any aspect of my masculine energy.
Without any plan or money to start my new life in Los Angeles, I began eating leftover food from abandoned outdoor tables at restaurants and shoplifting from grocery stores until eventually I discovered the food bank at a local Salvation Army location.
Even after I had managed to balance my masculine and feminine energies a bit more and secure a job, I found myself submerged under the stress of modern life.
Realizing that I was taking steps back in the wrong direction, I decided to participate in a Kambo purging ceremony.
The ceremony involved purging and somatic bodywork, which helped me release even more trapped emotions. It was then I realized that I needed to step up my game when it came to my daily spiritual practice so that I could properly maintain the progress of big emotional releases. I now practice heart-based meditation with the HeartMath Inner Balance sensor (accompanied by positive affirmation audio) for one hour in the morning, one hour at night, and for a few minutes here and there whenever I feel myself dip out of alignment.
I now go to the gym five times a week, which I find enormously successful in purging lower-density emotions.
I actively stretch throughout the day, track my sleep quality with an Oura ring, use an Apollo Neuro to keep my nervous system in check, and more.
Today, I am filled with an expanding sense of optimism, joy, peace, and love that I literally could not have imagined years ago. It fills me with a great sense of honor to be able to share the plethora of practices, belief systems, and gadgets I have experimented with over the past decade.
Join me in future articles as we dive further into these lesser-known aspects of healing. And, of course, if you feel that this article may help a friend or family member, feel free to share it with them.
Peace and Bliss, Phoenix
“Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” — Émile Coué
Amazing story Phoenix, thank you for sharing
Look forward to reading your next post 💪👍